Infuriating

What he fears is love.

Jackson Avery has everything in life, except somebody to share it with. But as the owner of one of the largest private security forces in the country, he’s got plenty to keep him busy until he finds ‘the one.’ After spending the last year dealing with the fallout of his best security agents falling for their clients, the last thing Jackson expects is to take one look at feisty camboy, Dayton Daniels, and almost instantly know that he’s it for him.

Dayton Daniels has been on his own since he was just fourteen years old. He’s spent his entire life scraping by, doing whatever’s necessary to survive. A severe learning disability has left Day unable to read and forced him to find creative ways to make a living. Camming allows him to earn money while keeping his clients at a distance, and Day has grown used to keeping everybody at a distance...until he witnesses a murder and Jackson Avery walks into his life.

Guarding Day is supposed to be a favor, a simple off the books job until they find out who killed a prominent attorney, but Jackson quickly realizes there is nothing simple about Day. He’s beautiful, smart, surprising, and Jackson is all in merely ten minutes after they meet. But Day, he can’t imagine a man like Jackson wanting to spend his life with somebody like him, and he is determined to do anything to send Jackson running in the opposite direction, no matter how much it hurts.

When Day starts receiving threatening emails, Jackson enlists his team to hunt down the killer. Day doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life living in fear, but every day he’s with Jackson, he falls a little harder, forming cracks in the walls he’s worked so hard to build up around himself. Can Jackson solve a murder and find a way past Day’s defenses to convince him there is such a thing as love at first sight and that everybody deserves a happily ever after, even him?

Warning: This book contains brief portrayals of childhood emotional abuse as well as discussions of past child sexual trauma and one scene of on-page physical violence to a main character at the hands of somebody other than the main character.

“Have you missed Daddy?” 

Dayton tilted his head to the side, giving the man on the other side of the screen a secret smile, the one they all thought was just for them. “Of course, I have. I was starting to think you’d ghosted me.” 

Jay laughed. That wasn’t his real name. That was the thing about this business. Nobody used their real names. Day was almost positive Jay was some kind of attorney given that he was always in a fancy office when they talked and there were rows of hardback law books behind him. Like most of Day’s clients, Jay was married, most likely to a woman who didn’t understand him. That was always their excuse. It sucked for their wives, but Day had to make a living, so he tried to put all of that aside. That was what they paid him for. His time and his attention. 

Day was a liar, too. On the internet, he was Danny from Florida who was just camming to make it through college. Total bullshit. Day hadn’t even made it past the seventh grade, and his shitty LA apartment probably cost three times as much as a shitty Florida apartment. But it was still better than where he started, so if he had to smile and bat his lashes and convince some balding fifty-something-year-old guy with a paunch hanging over his belt that he was the only guy Day truly cared about, then that’s what he’d do. He’d made Sarah a promise. Even if this had never been what she’d had in mind. 

“I would never disappear on you, beautiful. I’ve just been working on a really big case.” 

Jay lived in Los Angeles, just like Day, but he certainly would never tell him that. 

“That’s what you all say, and then poof, you disappear. But that’s alright, another’s always waiting in the wings to take your place.” Day crossed his legs, leaning back for Jay to get a good look at his white silk corset set, complete with lace panties and thigh highs. He crossed his legs, running his nails over the top of the hose, teasing a finger under the elastic. 

“Damn, you look so sexy. Model it for me.” 

Jay had a fetish for lingerie, one Dayton was happy to indulge since he knew for a fact he looked damn good in satin and lace. Besides, Jay had sent Day a lot of money to buy this outfit. Not that Day had spent it all on this bit of frippery. It paid to live in the fashion district. 

Day stood, stepping away from the camera so Jay could see the effort he’d put in for their call. He had on sparkly silver ankle boots and enough makeup on to make a drag queen jealous. He put his hands on his hips and sashayed across his room like he was walking the Paris runways, making sure Jay got a good look at the thong underwear that highlighted the perfect curves of his ass. 

When he made it back to the computer screen, Jay had slouched down in his chair, his computer no longer on the desk but balanced on his knees so Day could see that Jay was most definitely enjoying all of his efforts. “Oh. Looks like somebody’s liking what he sees.” 

Jay had his dick in hand, but he wasn’t furiously working it like some of Day’s cam clients did. Jay paid for the boyfriend experience—or rather, the Daddy experience. He wanted Day all to himself three times a week, and he was willing to shell out Day’s monthly allowance to get it. For what Jay paid, Day would call him St. Francis of Assissi if that’s what got him off. What the fuck did Day care? He was just a performer. 

Some part of Day did wish he could have a real Daddy, not a guy who handed out money just to hear Day call him by the honorific, but a real Daddy. One who cared about Day. One who didn’t care about his flaws and was kind and encouraging when he needed it but was stern and punishing when warranted. 

Los Angeles had a huge kink culture, but with Day’s disability, he wasn’t really sub material. He’d tried a few times to search for a Daddy, but all he’d found were posers who just wanted an excuse to take out their aggression on another person, and Day didn’t have a humiliation kink. He spent enough of his life feeling humiliated, he didn’t need to hear it from a person who was supposed to love and care for him as much as they were supposed to train and discipline him. 

“Get on the bed, baby.”

Day did as he was told, trying his best to keep his head in the game and not let his mind wander. “How do you want me, Sir?”

“You know what I want.”

Day sighed inwardly. For somebody who claimed his wife wasn’t kinky enough, Jay’s requests were always the same. Day turned away from the camera, popping up on his knees, canting his hips back, head and shoulders to the mattress. 

“Open your legs. Wider. Fuck yeah, that’s it.” Day’s eyes caught on a chip in his silver polish. Fuck, he really needed a manicure. “You like that, baby?”

Day rolled his eyes, grateful the camera couldn’t see his face. “Mmm, yes, Daddy.”

Day waited for Jay to tell him to lower his panties and start jerking off, but instead, he made a startled noise, a sort of half cry-half shout that had Day spinning around. Even from the strange angle of Jay’s laptop, Day could see crimson blooming from the older man’s collar, overwhelming the snowy starched white fabric faster than Day could even comprehend what was happening. 

Jay made a horrific gurgling sound, and then his laptop tumbled backwards. Day sat frozen on the edge of the bed, hand to his mouth for a solid minute. Hands trembling, he crept closer to his monitor. 

“Jay?” he whispered. There was no response. Day felt like his whole body was electrified, a metallic taste coating his tongue. “Jay?” he tried again, his voice one step above his last attempt. 

A shadow swept across the camera’s lens, and then a figure stood above, peering down at the laptop. It felt like he was looking directly into Day’s soul. Day wanted to disconnect before the man saw him, but it was already too late. Day sat in a well-lit room. He was probably visible from Mars, unlike the man shrouded in darkness, with only Jay’s amber desk lamp for light. Before Day could think to do anything, a booted heel came towards his face, causing Day to yelp and jump away even though he wasn’t the victim of the man’s assault. Jay’s laptop was.

Day sat there at his desk for far longer than he should, but his limbs felt like they were encased in cement. Jay was dead. Somebody had killed him. Right? Nobody could survive that kind of blood loss. Had the killer seen Day? Did it matter? Day hadn’t really seen him. But did the killer know that? Could he find Day if he wanted to? Day bounced on his heels. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Report a murder of somebody named Jay in Los Angeles? What if that wasn’t even his real name? 

“Fuck! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” 

Day picked up his cell phone and dialed 911, his teeth gnawing through the polish on his already chipped thumbnail. “911. What’s your emergency?”

“I think I just saw a man get murdered.”

There was a pause. “You think…you saw a man get murdered?” the woman asked, her tone edging on boredom. 

“Yeah. I was on a video call with a…friend, and I think somebody slit his throat.”

“What’s this friend's name?”

“Uh, Jay.”

“Jay what, sir?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“You don’t know your friend’s last name?”

Day sighed. “Look, I’m a cam model. I talk to men for a living. I only know he was an attorney named Jay, and he lives somewhere here in Los Angeles.”

“Sir, please hold the line.” 

Day did as she asked, grimacing at the feel of nail polish flakes on his tongue even though he had no intention of stopping. 

“Sir? Please give me your name and address. I’m sending officers to your home to get more information.” 

Day didn’t have any more information to give, but he rattled off his name and address anyway. As soon as he disconnected, he set about changing his clothes, ditching his satin and silk for threadbare black athletic shorts and a red cropped hoodie. He scraped off his makeup and tossed the makeup wipes into the trash just as his phone dinged. 

It was a notification. DannysDaddy666 has sent you money. 

It wasn’t unusual to get notifications like that. Day was auctioning off his virginity to whichever of his patrons donated the most this year as long as they met his minimum bid of ten thousand dollars. A price that Day had assured himself none of them would be willing to give just to be his first non-silicone dick. Day usually received anywhere from one hundred to five hundred dollars from most of his clients once or twice a week. At least, the ones he considered his private patrons. But there was one who never wanted to be seen on camera. He only wanted to watch. DannysDaddy666. Day hated the name as much as he hated the black screen that accompanied their playtime. The man even disguised his voice. It made Day leery, but as long as his money cleared, Day was willing to tolerate his weird stipulations. 

Day signed into his CashApp and frowned. Six thousand dollars? Nobody had ever sent him an amount that high. Not even Jay and he paid Day fifteen hundred a month. He had anyway. Day felt like a dick for missing the money more than the man, but Jay’s money paid half of his rent and Jay had no interest in ever meeting face to face. He’d been the perfect client. 

Day clicked on the note section, and his blood ran cold. 

Soon it will just be you and me. Love, Daddy.

Day shivered. Talk about bad timing. 

He tossed his phone on the bed just as there was a knock on the door. “Police, open up.”